Dear S,
Were not close, and i wish we were. But i find things with us awkward. There is a reason, but just in case anyone i know reads this.. i will not say what it is. You are now yet, another person, who has told me their secrets. Why did you tell me?
Today you asked why i see the counsellor, i quickly brushed off the question. I didnt want to have to explain, i guess i didnt think you'd understand. You told me how you go see her too, and that you hate it. You hate telling people your problems and talking about your feelings. But, your mum makes you see her. You then proceeded to tell me about how much you hate that your parents are divorced. That they are going back to court next week, your dreading it. That they both need help with their anger and that they hit you. You promised that you would never ever put your kids through that, ever. And me? Well, i sat there quietly, nodding and listening. But inside, inside i was screaming. I know its hard for you to talk to people, and well, you must have felt comfortable telling me, but i didnt want to hear it. That sounds so selfish. I guess it is. Oh sweetie, that is why im in councelling... because i know everyone elses secrets, i know everyone elses problems and i am not coping with them, let alone my own. And the saddest thing? The thing that kills me most? I cant help you. I cant do anything. S darling... i am so sorry. I wish i could help you. I wish i could save you.. but i just dont know how.
To me, you were the girl with the perfect life. You have the almost perfect boyfriend, your so beautiful, your close with your brother and uncles, and have amazing friends who would do anything for you and your so smart. You seem so happy, maybe you are. But you dont live a wonderful life do you? I saw that today. Where am i suppost to place my hope now? Your the one person i thought was okay, who wasnt broken, and now i see your are. Just like the rest of us. But, please know i am so proud of you. I think you are amazingly strong for getting up every morning, putting on a smile, for being happy. If i had gone through what you have been through, i really dont think i could do it. I think you are genuinly happy and love life. Please, please, dont prove me wrong.
Love from,
'Anonymous' (remember readers, i promised you, you will never know who i really am. And i always keep my promises, promise.)
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